pray. - A Love Song to God
The past couple of Thursdays, I've been going to a free outdoor yoga class. All summer, I had wanted to try the class but never had anyone to go with me, so I always forfeited my decision to go. After attending it, I hate I waited so long to go. And, I hate that I allowed alone-ness to be my excuse for not going. It's a really good class, and I'm learning yoga is a practice I need to start adding to my daily routine.
Two Thursdays ago, I attended this outdoor class for the first time. It was almost exactly two weeks after my step dad's passing and life had started to slow down to normal again. At the beginning of yoga class, you set an intention for your practice. My intention was to release pent-up aggression to allow absorption of love. I needed positive energy so I could get back to spreading the love.
During this hour-long practice, with at least 40 other strangers, there were poses that struck emotional cords within my core. I had to withhold tears a few times. But, there was this one moment, about halfway through the practice, that grabbed hold of me. The hold was strong and masculine yet gentle and comforting. As I was there in humble warrior pose, gazing up at the navy blue sky watching the cumulus clouds float by, I noticed my hands like I've never noticed them before. I was holding them in prayer against this outstanding dusk sky and for a second I didn't recognize them. My hands looked more masculine and appeared to have a darker skin tone. Then, this jolt of overwhelming peace shot through my body. My breathing slowed down. I could feel my heartbeat's intensity decrease. At that moment, I couldn't deny the Divine presence that draped over me. Life appeared crystal clear. I was fully aware of every breath and rattling leaf. My breathing sounded like distant echoes. In those few seconds, the air entering my lungs felt like pure love, and my mind stopped running. It was the most peaceful 10 seconds of my life, I think, and it was my calm after the storm. Then, during shavasana, there was another connection. One of my favorite Alicia Keys songs started playing, but it wasn't Alicia Keys singing, it was some guy, regardless, the lyrics were the same. It wasn't loud music. It was faint in the background. But, the lyrics rang loud and clear in my heart, and for the first time ever, these lyrics took a whole new meaning.
As I learn more about religions and my own beliefs, I find myself constantly questioning and contemplating God. And, as my faith grows, my desire to be a seed of love grows with it. I don't know a lot about the Christian Bible or the King James Bible or the Quran or any other religious or spiritual doctrine, but what I do know is love dwells in all of us, because it was planted in our hearts, and that's where my God resides. God is love. And, that's what I have faith in.
Two Thursdays ago, I attended this outdoor class for the first time. It was almost exactly two weeks after my step dad's passing and life had started to slow down to normal again. At the beginning of yoga class, you set an intention for your practice. My intention was to release pent-up aggression to allow absorption of love. I needed positive energy so I could get back to spreading the love.
During this hour-long practice, with at least 40 other strangers, there were poses that struck emotional cords within my core. I had to withhold tears a few times. But, there was this one moment, about halfway through the practice, that grabbed hold of me. The hold was strong and masculine yet gentle and comforting. As I was there in humble warrior pose, gazing up at the navy blue sky watching the cumulus clouds float by, I noticed my hands like I've never noticed them before. I was holding them in prayer against this outstanding dusk sky and for a second I didn't recognize them. My hands looked more masculine and appeared to have a darker skin tone. Then, this jolt of overwhelming peace shot through my body. My breathing slowed down. I could feel my heartbeat's intensity decrease. At that moment, I couldn't deny the Divine presence that draped over me. Life appeared crystal clear. I was fully aware of every breath and rattling leaf. My breathing sounded like distant echoes. In those few seconds, the air entering my lungs felt like pure love, and my mind stopped running. It was the most peaceful 10 seconds of my life, I think, and it was my calm after the storm. Then, during shavasana, there was another connection. One of my favorite Alicia Keys songs started playing, but it wasn't Alicia Keys singing, it was some guy, regardless, the lyrics were the same. It wasn't loud music. It was faint in the background. But, the lyrics rang loud and clear in my heart, and for the first time ever, these lyrics took a whole new meaning.
Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If I ain't got you
So, ultimately, this is a love song from a woman to a man. However, during this shavasana, it became a song from me to God. It was my love song to my God. Without God's seed, without his loving hands planting us into this earth, we wouldn't exist. He sowed the seed of love, and his seed of love was sowed within each and every one of us, and He created a diversely colorful garden.
As I learn more about religions and my own beliefs, I find myself constantly questioning and contemplating God. And, as my faith grows, my desire to be a seed of love grows with it. I don't know a lot about the Christian Bible or the King James Bible or the Quran or any other religious or spiritual doctrine, but what I do know is love dwells in all of us, because it was planted in our hearts, and that's where my God resides. God is love. And, that's what I have faith in.
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