teach.run.pray.

Being more transparent and vulnerable is something I've been working on along with finding humor in life. I've always been pretty good with deep reflective thinking and conversations, however, I've never been good at them in the context of a relationship in which I have to reveal feelings I'm not totally comfortable with, or when I'm not sure how my honest feelings are going to be interpreted, or when I think the other person may get upset.  And, when I say intimate relationships, it refers to any relationship that consists of love, honesty, and sincerity, which could be a relationship with a spouse, a friend, a sibling, a student, or a brief encounter with a stranger.   I'm speaking of intimacy in terms of the heart and soul, not  in terms of physicality. So, in these intimate situations, I tend to withhold my thoughts and emotions and withholding is not usually the best thing to do because withholding means I'm not being honest. And, let's face it, if ...

Over the past year or so, I've been working on rediscovering my faith, finetuning my beliefs, living in the moment, and being patient. I've been fairly successful, and with all good things, they are a work in progress. During this faith, belief, present, patient process, I've made a stark observation. I've let go of the fun and the humor in life. I find myself being serious and reflective pretty much 100% of the time. I've gotten so focused on the seriousness of life that I've turned my back on the humor. And, we all know, laughter is good for the soul, so if I'm doing soul work, I should be laughing a lot more. Instead, I'm laughing a lot less. My husband often teases me and tells me I don't know how to laugh or take a joke anymore. And, though, I know he's teasing, it strikes this very sensitive chord inside me. I try to smile or giggle off the comment, or I try to be sarcastic about it, but the problem is I actually feel like I don't kno...

The past couple of Thursdays, I've been going to a free outdoor yoga class. All summer, I had wanted to try the class but never had anyone to go with me, so I always forfeited my decision to go. After attending it, I hate I waited so long to go. And, I hate that I allowed alone-ness to be my excuse for not going. It's a really good class, and I'm learning yoga is a practice I need to start adding to my daily routine. Two Thursdays ago, I attended this outdoor class for the first time. It was almost exactly two weeks after my step dad's passing and life had started to slow down to normal again. At the beginning of yoga class, you set an intention for your practice. My intention was to release pent-up aggression to allow absorption of love. I needed positive energy so I could get back to spreading the love. During this hour-long practice, with at least 40 other strangers, there were poses that struck emotional cords within my core. I had to withhold tears a few times....