pray. - Frosted Flakes, Thanksgiving, & Alleys - Oh My!
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| Thanksgiving 2015 |
Two Thanksgivings ago, Matt & I drove to North Georgia to meet my Aunt Lynn & Uncle Rod for lunch. They were bringing my Mom and Pop with them. Mom (the pen pal grandma) and Pop are my dad's parents. Matt had never met any of my Alley family before, and I was really looking forward to the meeting - after all we had been together five years, and that's one side of me he didn't really know - I hadn't seen my grandparents in about ten years. I think the last time I had seen them was at my sister's funeral - not exactly a happy time to catch up. I had been anticipating this meeting for a few weeks, and my stomach was in knots. My Aunt Liz had been in touch with me through Facebook and had informed me about my grandparents' health. Not only was their health declining, but their minds and memories were too. The news hit me really hard.
You see, my relationship with my dad's family has been a distant one. It's really no one's fault; it just wasn't very convenient after my dad died. They lived several hours away from Macon, and over time lives got busy and we kind of drifted apart. If Mom and I had not been pen pals over the years, I'm afraid I would've lost all connection with them. Mom was a poet and a writer. She was fantastic at it. I loved walking into her basement and seeing the hundred 6" binders bursting at the seams with poems she had written. I admired Mom and her passion for writing, and I guess that's why we wrote letters to each for ten plus years. That penmanship between the two of us meant the world to me, and it still does. So, when my Aunt Liz told me Mom's health was declining, as was her memory, my heart broke, because all I could think about it is how she may not be able to write anymore. Not to mention, I was terrified she wouldn't remember me.
Thanksgiving Day, we arrived at Dillard House early and took time to admire the farm animals. My heart pounding the entire time and butterflies flapped uncontrollably in my stomach. Eventually, we went to ask about the reservations, and I recognized Uncle Rod's daughter. We were both teenagers when we had seen each other last. The wait staff seated us and somewhat awkwardly we waited for the rest of the family.
As Aunt Lynn and Uncle Rod brought Mom and Pop through the dining room, I was overcome with emotion. They were so old and frail and fragile. Pop was in a wheelchair and Mom was being escorted on Aunt Lynn's arm. The last time I had seen them, they were still so independent and vivacious. How had time slipped away like this? I just knew they wouldn't remember me, and they'd feel like they were having Thanksgiving dinner with two strangers. When Mom looked at me and smiled, I knew she remembered me and as hard as I tried to fight back the tears I couldn't. They streamed down my face as Uncle Rod told me to stop crying for it was a happy day. He was right - but his matter of factness didn't cease my tears. As for Pop, Aunt Lynn whispered to him who I was, and when she did I saw it in his face too. He remembered. I wasn't as far removed as I thought.
Mom grabbed my hand and just held it. I introduced her to Matt, and she told me how handsome she thought he was. She even asked me if he was the boy I had written her about several years prior, which meant she remembered so much more than I ever anticipated. Our pen pal bond was stronger than I had imagined.
It was nice sitting at a table with my Alley family, with a part of myself I knew very little about but longed to get to know. As I looked at my dad's sister and his parents, I noticed features about them that I saw in myself and never really knew where they came from, and what made it even better was Matt got to see it too. In my heart, the simple act of having Thanksgiving dinner with family, was a very intimate moment that I'll never forget. It was like the frosted, sweet milk at the end of my Frosted Flakes.
I have not seen my Alley family since that Thanksgiving. Again, it is no one person's fault. Thankfully, my Aunt Liz is a Facebooker as well as several of my cousins whom I used to attend Vacation Bible School with every summer. We argued and fought the entire time, but loved one another so much. The coolest thing is my Aunt Liz started a blog a few months ago, not knowing I had one too. I've loved reading it, because it has connected me to the Alley family far more than she could ever know. I see so much of myself in many of the blogs she writes and suddenly parts of me that I always wondered about are making sense. I've recognized parts of my dad all my life, but now I recognize the Alley inside of me. I am an Alley, and those Alley's may be a little wild and crazy and have a little redneck temper, but they're GRRREAAT!
Nan
Written by: Shannon Alley
From the day that you were born,
you were "Daddy's Little Girl"
You made him proud and happy
and brightened all his world!
He told me all about you.
All he wanted you to be.
You meant as much to him
as he always meant to me.
I want to share your life with you,
You make my feelings soar,
For everytime I'm with you,
I love you even more.
I will always guide you
the very best I can.
And we will feel his presence
as if he's holding out his hands.
He will see your hand in mine,
and I know he will smile.
As we walk together,
his mother and his child.
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| The letter my dad wrote to my mom, & the rose that inspired the foot tattoo. |
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| The tattoo |
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