pray: Seasonal Relationships
"We have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime."
The above quote has been a weight on my mind lately. I've thought about it many, many times before, but for some reason, this time it's lingering. It's yanking at my heart. Maybe, it's the time of year - I'm always very emotional during the holiday season. Maybe, it's recent events. Maybe, it's because I'm a very sensitive sentimental individual. Or, maybe, it's because I'm a deep thinker and worrier. Or, it could be a nostalgia for the past. I'm not sure the reason, but it's lingering like a saturated cloud of sadness.
This quote resonates. If I were to make a three column list, I could classify each and every friend I've had and have into one of these categories. The category creating the saturated cloud of sadness is friends for a season. Seasons come and go - which means this category represents friends that have come and gone in my life. Due to my problems of letting go, the reality that some of my friends are in this category makes my stomach churn, even though I know it's best most of them are there. The churning also comes from this fact: many of my friends in this category are also family.
Letting go of those past friends who were here for a reason is easy. Letting them go is easier because God made the reason for their friendship clear to me. These people enriched my life when it needed enriching. These friends got me through testing times or made the good times even better. Don't get me wrong, I still have these friends in my life. These friends are kind of like a revolving door - they come and go and come again based on the events happening in life. As I said before, these are friends God sends to you with a purpose. The friends for a reason are and were all part of the plan. In the end, I have closure with these friendships when they go and am so thankful for them. Physically, they are not always "regulars" in my present day life, but their presence and/or lack thereof leaves my heart at peace (as weird and confusing as that may sound). Maybe "letting them go" isn't the best way to describe these friends, since their impact will last forever.
Friends for a lifetime, now these friends may come and go as "regulars", but we always pick up where we left off. No beats are skipped. Months or even years can pass and the bond doesn't break. They are the friends you start thinking about, and somehow they telepathically know. These friends are rare and unlike any others. I'm lucky enough to have a couple of these.
Friends for a season are a bit more complicated to me, and maybe it's because I have a warped vision or interpretation of these friends. In my mind, these are the friends who are only active in your life when your seasons of life align. The friendship doesn't evolve with the seasons - it just kind of deteriorates overtime. Lives went different directions. Lives got busy. The friendship was less convenient, so overtime, it just wore away. Time wasn't invested to keep it going, on one end, or the other, or on both ends. The connections that brought the friendship together, in the first place, aren't there anymore. And, no matter how much love you have for the person, it just feels different or weird or awkward to be around them again...because you don't know what to talk about anymore. It isn't because you dislike each other or because you don't appreciate the friendship and memories that were had - it just fizzles out. Sometimes, these friendships disappoint me and make me feel unwanted or unworthy as a friend - not because the seasonal friend made me feel that way - but because it isn't as clean and clear as the others. The nostalgia of the good times haunt me, and I wonder how two or more people who were such close friends and who played such integral roles in each other's lives could allow that to disintegrate.
Then, I start wondering if those reason and lifetime friends will eventually turn into a seasonal friend...I suppose if that could happen then the reverse could also happen and a seasonal friend could become a reason or lifetime friend. Or, maybe, I think too deeply about these things. What I do know is, I have been and will continue to be hurt by friends. Also, I have hurt friends, and though I will try not to, I'm sure I will hurt friends in the future. Whether the hurt is intentional or not, it hurts and it's real. It's part of the roller coaster of being human.
To those friends I've hurt, I am sorry. I appreciate every individual who has played a role in writing my story, whether they are still part of it or not. Today, I will embrace these relationships and cherish them. I will also pray for the strength to "let them go" when it's time.
As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. - Julia Butterfly Hill
True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.
-- Author Unknown
The above quote has been a weight on my mind lately. I've thought about it many, many times before, but for some reason, this time it's lingering. It's yanking at my heart. Maybe, it's the time of year - I'm always very emotional during the holiday season. Maybe, it's recent events. Maybe, it's because I'm a very sensitive sentimental individual. Or, maybe, it's because I'm a deep thinker and worrier. Or, it could be a nostalgia for the past. I'm not sure the reason, but it's lingering like a saturated cloud of sadness.
This quote resonates. If I were to make a three column list, I could classify each and every friend I've had and have into one of these categories. The category creating the saturated cloud of sadness is friends for a season. Seasons come and go - which means this category represents friends that have come and gone in my life. Due to my problems of letting go, the reality that some of my friends are in this category makes my stomach churn, even though I know it's best most of them are there. The churning also comes from this fact: many of my friends in this category are also family.
Letting go of those past friends who were here for a reason is easy. Letting them go is easier because God made the reason for their friendship clear to me. These people enriched my life when it needed enriching. These friends got me through testing times or made the good times even better. Don't get me wrong, I still have these friends in my life. These friends are kind of like a revolving door - they come and go and come again based on the events happening in life. As I said before, these are friends God sends to you with a purpose. The friends for a reason are and were all part of the plan. In the end, I have closure with these friendships when they go and am so thankful for them. Physically, they are not always "regulars" in my present day life, but their presence and/or lack thereof leaves my heart at peace (as weird and confusing as that may sound). Maybe "letting them go" isn't the best way to describe these friends, since their impact will last forever.
Friends for a lifetime, now these friends may come and go as "regulars", but we always pick up where we left off. No beats are skipped. Months or even years can pass and the bond doesn't break. They are the friends you start thinking about, and somehow they telepathically know. These friends are rare and unlike any others. I'm lucky enough to have a couple of these.
Friends for a season are a bit more complicated to me, and maybe it's because I have a warped vision or interpretation of these friends. In my mind, these are the friends who are only active in your life when your seasons of life align. The friendship doesn't evolve with the seasons - it just kind of deteriorates overtime. Lives went different directions. Lives got busy. The friendship was less convenient, so overtime, it just wore away. Time wasn't invested to keep it going, on one end, or the other, or on both ends. The connections that brought the friendship together, in the first place, aren't there anymore. And, no matter how much love you have for the person, it just feels different or weird or awkward to be around them again...because you don't know what to talk about anymore. It isn't because you dislike each other or because you don't appreciate the friendship and memories that were had - it just fizzles out. Sometimes, these friendships disappoint me and make me feel unwanted or unworthy as a friend - not because the seasonal friend made me feel that way - but because it isn't as clean and clear as the others. The nostalgia of the good times haunt me, and I wonder how two or more people who were such close friends and who played such integral roles in each other's lives could allow that to disintegrate.
Then, I start wondering if those reason and lifetime friends will eventually turn into a seasonal friend...I suppose if that could happen then the reverse could also happen and a seasonal friend could become a reason or lifetime friend. Or, maybe, I think too deeply about these things. What I do know is, I have been and will continue to be hurt by friends. Also, I have hurt friends, and though I will try not to, I'm sure I will hurt friends in the future. Whether the hurt is intentional or not, it hurts and it's real. It's part of the roller coaster of being human.
To those friends I've hurt, I am sorry. I appreciate every individual who has played a role in writing my story, whether they are still part of it or not. Today, I will embrace these relationships and cherish them. I will also pray for the strength to "let them go" when it's time.
As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. - Julia Butterfly Hill
True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.
-- Author Unknown
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